Studio mine

In Dance, Family on September 19, 2014 at 1:08 am

Thursday tap

My lack of sleep is catching up, I need to reset my bio-clock next week, seriously… my head was rocking back and forth when we hit 4pm, you know when you think you’re asleep before you jolt awake? I reckon I’ve been sleeping 5.5hrs on average this week, I should really aim for the 6+ mark. I just can’t bring myself to sleep for some reason, last night I was soft-tapping to music, played Candy Crush and started reading my new book on depression… I bought this to help with Mum – if she does have depression I need to understand how afflicted people think. No idea what to expect, I’m taking a proactive step.

Studio 4

Tonight is my night, I felt woozy but determined to make the most of it. It was basically an hour and half working my socks off, sweat dripped from my nose, my neck, my head, I was very industrious. Didn’t cover many combos, just my basic steps and shuffles – gradually I adjusted my legs inwards so they weren’t too far apart. I kept my feet low and close to the ground, and experienced a variety of ways of balancing on one leg. That was a tricky because I don’t balance well on my toes – I remember once struggling to balance on standing leg – that level is complete, now I’m standing on the ball of my feet which is the next level!

I like a row of lights off, prefer the darker ambience.

I did some of Kate’s combos at the end, but not before exhausting myself with attempts to drop-shuffle-pickup on my toes – still can’t do it yet, not even one. I’m still wobbly standing on my ball to do pickups consistently. I worked on my pullbacks with a small degree of success… on my right side, it’s slow but nevertheless progress! I can just about do my left side – in progress! I must prevail with both.

I took a little time practising that fun crossover steps from Monday, the heel on ball – ball on heel tap, it’s HARD to connect that 3mm tip of the toe! Not an easy move to master but I quite enjoyed it, I stumbled around but I was alone so it’s ok! This little move will be back on Monday, yay. 

My leg muscles became really tired from the numerous drops and pullbacks, I wonder if it’s because I didn’t exercise for 8 days prior this week, or I have been slacking too much? In any case I plodded on – didn’t really rhythm tap, I returned to my shuffle and double shuffles, and used the mirrors to work out my balance – I need to be conscious of the way I land my standing leg because that’s the key to better core stability, when I’m switching at speed, I must be able to remain stable and in control in the correct position. I have so much refinement to make, to clean my steps up – to work on the important details, to craft my tap… it’s exciting!!!

It’s been a hell of a sweaty hour and half, I could say productive but I feel unfinished – like it wasn’t enough, I’m not entirely satisfied. I want to do more. Still, it was my time, so it was good to de-stress!

I’ll see how I feel next week, I might need another session just to feel satisfied.

Grabbed a burrito from Changos Burrito Bar for tea, gorgeous – I spaced out eating my nachos. Got back to give my shoes a good scrub, I have honestly no idea why they’re so dirty, they were sticky stuff… maybe it’s the leftover sweat from… people like me!

What a GREAT day!

Jazz Tap and Director’s role

In Dance, Flat, Rant on September 18, 2014 at 12:25 am

We had a pitch at 4pm, so I was frantically trying to get it sorted on time, which I achieved. I always deliver, simple as that! I was also really distracted by a situation – I’ll explain it after tap!

Jazz Tap

I started quite badly and kept losing my balance, but improved later on. I was stiff and didn’t even do my shuffles properly – it’s one of my declining thing, I don’t shuffle properly anymore and it’s sad! I need to work out why tomorrow, I haven’t been kicking my toes properly as if I’m scared of the floor – my knees were starting to ache so I wonder if my subconscious was telling me to be careful? I have definitely shuffled harder than tonight, I’ve been really off. I couldn’t shuffle and couldn’t even count to 8!

Maybe it’s the speed, or I’m not concentrating hard enough. In any case, I have booked a studio tomorrow and I can’t wait to be alone – after today’s work, Director-related annoyance and shabby tap, I want to be alone and tap it all out. 

There were three of us, like I said – I struggled at the beginning and found everything so hard, apparently I’m very tense above my hips – I kept stumbling at speed as if one part of my body was desperately trying to catch up with the other. I was shaking my head throughout but recovered eventually, sweat was literally dripping from my nose as I kept going. I worked hard tonight, I’m sort of happy with my effort but I want to see progress.

The routine was a lot easier to do than the made-up rhythm steps! Anyway, forget about tonight, tomorrow – new day, new steps! 

Director’s Role

What exactly is my role as a Director? I have been reminded by our management company of my ‘role’ because they weren’t pleased with my public announcement that I will ‘log issues’. I had to apologise for the comment even though it wasn’t a criticism – they said it implied they weren’t doing their jobs, well the bins were left out? Whose job is it to put them back?

I deleted the post (it only had 19 views). They also suggested the employment of a full-time cover pending on a decision from ALL the Directors (was that a threat to raise costs?). Hmmm, I suspect it’s hard to bring the group together to make decisions, therefore I believe they enjoy a good amount of autonomy. In hindsight, it was an overreaction from my part, that I admit – as the current ongoing situation isn’t helping. I was harsh though because I have high standards.

I’ve been reminded of my ‘role as a Director’, which is what really? This question bugs me, we employ the management to run our building – if something wasn’t done properly either by their staff or their sub-contractors, who is ultimately accountable? It’s their responsibility to ensure all jobs are done to decent standards. 

To be honest, I saw two issues from this, firstly a Director employed by the management company – conflict of interest, she grassed me up this morning – in defence of her employers. Secondly, lack of communication, I was aware of the temporary cover – I did not realise it was just two hours every morning. That information was new.

You can see I’m still feeling my way through the role! I’ll still be keeping logs anyway, I want accountability and transparency.

I’m still unsure whether I’m protecting the investors or the tenants, they shouldn’t be separate issues – I don’t see why it’s so difficult in our situation. I don’t like to be rattled, and I will do what needs to be done in my role. I really DESPISE politics, but I need to get through the murky water to the bottom of this, I volunteered so I need to step up. Why is our relationship so difficult? What happened two meetings ago when two leaseholders became so disenchanted they are now put off from becoming Directors? Something is wrong in this arrangement and I don’t like it.

This must be fixed…

Monday Tap and Jazz

In Dance on September 15, 2014 at 11:55 pm

Nice try Yesterday-me! 

Regards, Today-me…


It’s good to be back. It really was! I was in Germany for 8 days doing little but eat, sleep and walk around. Been itching to exercise again, it’s been a challenging but fun night. I’m not aching as much as I thought, I did walk back from Old Trafford yesterday so I’m ok. No, wait, my left knee was dodgy during a high-impact tap session. Luckily it went away in Jazz.

I was back and gingerly warmed up, the across the room was ok albeit with great speed – I think we’re moving onwards and Ailsa is pushing the group on improvements, she’s clear about her goals and I like it. Hence it made me think about and finally change the way I approach tap, I’ve been making notes long enough with the same method – it’s time to do it differently, refine my learning. As you can see from the pile below, that’s my accumulation of tap notes since February 2012, I have, out of habit noted every choreography routine since that year – which I must add belongs to Ailsa and I have never shown it to anyone outside our tap group. They’re basically her work, and initially I did utilise the notes but gradually less so… I suppose I’ve become a better dancer and although the notes are useful, I don’t need to revisit them anymore. If anything, it’s almost a chore to jot down routines now… it’s not good when something becomes a chore I don’t feel like doing. I kept going because it was my habit and I was too organised to stop!

So, after tonight, no more.

I’m going to focus on steps I want to learn, almost like a tick list. If I like some steps from the week, I’ll note it for practise and will attempt to master them. I need to be more focussed, it’s time for refinement – chapter 1 of tap dancing is over. I need to see myself as a chapter 2 tapper, and that’s clear steps, speed and rhythm tapping, oh I long for the freedom of rhythm tap!

Let’s see where this takes me. EXCITED!

Anyway, across the room was ok, the routine was pretty fun because we inserted the hard steps into it. It’s fast too so I had to concentrate hard, did manage a few times but not all – it’s so fast I needed to be with it all the way, even missing a beat is enough to throw us out of sync. I enjoyed it a lot and felt absolutely amazing to tap again, I feel invigorated! Love love love!


Lots of awesome stretches and basic across the room steps, getting into it, good to see Kate who greeted my return. Again, a popular class it’s great to be back. The routine was a little girly for me but I gave it a shot, I don’t really have much to say about Jazz except that I’m planning to plough on… I’m beginning to think that I prefer the stretches and warm-ups over the steps, I still haven’t lost my inhibition to perform a Jazz routine properly… I try but something is always holding me back unlike tap. Maybe it’s too expressive for me, I hope I grow to love it, in the meantime I do like the physical aspects of it. The steps are coming to me easier too, keep my head down and work hard.

Met Karen afterwards to prepare for a simple job coming up, it felt nice to be around when people have left – only because I felt like a dancer! Not that I am at all, but it’s weird to be there with the pro. I thought about hanging around to chat, but figured she’s had a long session – probably best to leave her in peace. Skedaddled my way back home for leftover carbonara and CHIPS!

Oooh, feeling tired now. Best sleep!


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